Me and My Killing Machine
by Sol Hiryu
Summary: OneShot After standing up to BlackWargreymon, Cody wonders if it is right to just have the Digimon fight for them. Cody's POV


Author's Notes: Sorry for the long wait, but my computer crashed when I was working on this fic…So I had to start over using the laptop, but hey, that's how life goes. And now, with this site's recent bug, I couldn't upload it for a while...Ah well.

Anyways, if you didn't know, I revised **Reminiscence **before the crash, so go take a look at it.

The time and place this story takes place? Um…Well, it takes place right after Cody stands up to BlackWarGreymon. He is currently at his apartment that night.

On with the fic!

**Me and My Killing Machine:**

Is it right for us, the Digidestined, to send our partners straight into a life or death situation?

I never thought it was right for me to send Armadillomon out to battle while we stayed on the sidelines. I felt that we were like dead weight; we couldn't even do anything beyond helping our partner's digivolve. I felt ashamed.

What got me thinking like this? I have been thinking like this ever since Armadillomon and I became partners, the day I got my Digiegg. I mean, how can you send friend to battle while you do nothing? What would you feel like if that friend got hurt? Every time I see Armadillomon hurt, I struggle to keep from crying. It just pains me to see him hurt, while I am completely unscathed.

That's why I resolved to do something about it. I wanted to find a way to help my partner any way I could, share the pain together. Although I couldn't think of anything, the mere thought of a hurt Armadillomon made me lose my focus.

It was happening more and more often, especially during my kendo lessons with my grandfather. I can't seem to even get as close as I used to, my thoughts are taking up my concentration.

When my grandfather asked what was wrong with me, I couldn't answer. How could I tell him that I was endangering another friend's life while doing nothing to help that friend in return? I realized then that if I never talked about it, then it would continue to haunt me.

I told him the basic gist of it; that someone was risking themselves for me, while I felt that I wasn't doing anything to help. Luckily, he didn't ask for me to tell him which person was risking themselves for me, I don't think I could make myself lie again.

My grandfather said something I would remember: 'If you believe in that person, and that person believes in you, then there is no reason to believe that you are worthless.' After that, he launched into yet another triad about prune juice…I'll never understand him.

What did he mean back then? I believed in Armadillomon, and I'm certain he believed in me, but that still didn't take away the shameful feeling I got whenever I saw him hurt. I tried asking him that night if he believed in me.

"Cody," he said in his chirpy voice, he was still Upamon at the time. "No matter what, I'll protect you." He promptly fell asleep after that, he was exhausted after a day's work of destroying Control Spires.

He said he would protect me…But what could I do to protect him?

Then, one day, I couldn't take it anymore. It was around that time we were setting a trap for BlackWargreymon. Me, Submarimon, Ikakkumon, and several Dolphmon were planning on ambushing the dark Mega when he came for the Destiny Stone. Sure enough, he arrived and we pushed him back…We thought we drove him off, but he actually split the sea in half to get to the stone.

Everyone was injured and couldn't even get to the stone to protect it…I wouldn't allow BlackWargreymon to get away with destroying this stone too. It was finally time for me to protect the ones I cared about, so I did what was either the bravest or most foolish thing I did in my life.

I stepped in front of BlackWargreymon, barring his path.

I somehow knew he had a heart, he was just incredibly confused…But his desire to fight a worthy opponent was strong. I tried to reason with him, nearly pleading with him to relent, to leave the stone alone. He didn't listen, and he was about to destroy me and the stone until Angemon saved me in the nick of time.

I couldn't really think clearly after that…After we got home, Upamon was crying; he didn't want me to do such a foolish thing ever again. Who could blame him? I wasn't really thinking straight during the whole ordeal at the time…

But now, as I lay here in my bed, I finally grasp what my grandpa's words mean. Armadillomon would do anything to ensure my safety, he wasn't afraid of anything, not even total deletion…

At this point, I finally realize what I have to do. I have to fully believe in Armadillomon, as anything short of that belief will undoubtedly destroy us in the end. I have to keep believing; sometimes I think it is my only salvation.

Now, I finally feel that I can go to sleep without worry; now that I know that Armadillomon will do his utmost for me. That means I have to do the utmost for him, believing in him all the way.

I will do everything I can possibly do, I promise him that.

**End**

Ending Author's Notes: Yes, I know it's short, but I really couldn't write more for fear of getting off track.

Cody is a very interesting character to me, he is a very mature young kid, yet his feelings leave him no peace. This one-shot builds on that.

I also know that the title probably doesn't fit the story's nature, but I feel it does.

Anyway, flames and constructive criticism are strongly encouraged and accepted.


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